Joy In The Journey

My Precious Little One,

I can’t believe all this time has gone by and I’ve never truly allowed myself to embrace the realness of you. When I actually took the time to imagine what you would be like, my heart was overwhelmed by the love I felt for you. I never realized how much emotion I had locked away for you. As if I had no right to have this love for you. Please forgive me for the selfish choice I made. I know Jesus has forgiven me. He assured me of His love and mercy toward me. He has completely forgiven me and freed me of the shame, guilt and condemnation I carried all these years.

I am so glad God showed me that I do have a right to love you and imagine how you would be. I know I’ll see you in heaven and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and show you how much I love you! Please know that from now on I will love you forever and when I think about you, it will bring a smile to my face because I can truly see how you would look and the beautiful child you would be. I love and miss you so much!

All my love,

Mommy

Xoxo

To any woman who has experienced an abortion(s). Please know you’re not alone.

I know, I was there. I carried my secret for years. There were very few people who knew I had two abortions; very few. Even after I gave my life to Jesus, I lived with the guilt, shame and condemnation for those two abortions. The enemy would tell me God can forgive you for everything else but He’ll never forgive you for those abortions. I lived each day asking God to forgive me not realizing He already did! Who the Son sets free is free indeed but I didn’t know that then. One Sunday I was in service and my Pastor was speaking about the sanctity of life. He said, “If there are any women in here who have had an abortion and you have given your life to Christ, it is under the blood! You are forgiven!” I literally felt the weight of the guilt, shame and condemnation be lifted off me. God set me free of that lie that day!

I knew God forgave me but now I needed to forgive myself. I took a post-abortion class called SaveOne where I learned to forgive myself and others who were involved in that decision. Through that class, I discovered I had a right to miss my babies and think about them and wonder what they looked like and long to see them. I know I’m going to see them again and I can’t wait.

This is the reason I facilitate a group called Surrendering the Secret. Because I know there are women who carry this secret and I know the pain and hurt that goes along with it. My Pastor allowed me to share my testimony in service and I also shared it at our Ladies God encounter. I want to give hope to women that it’s not impossible for God to heal your wounds. Beloved, please know that God loves you so much. He sees your pain and suffering and He knows you’re afraid to come to Him with this because you think He won’t forgive you. But He’s waiting for you with open arms. He longs for you to come to Him and confess that secret and leave it at His feet. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ! You are a new creation! 1 Peter 5:7, “casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you.”

I also want you to know the enemy is a liar. He wants to keep you bound in the hurt, shame and condemnation so you can’t fulfill the plan God has for your life. He wants to keep you stuck so you can’t move forward in what God has for your life. He tried with me but he failed! God’s got you, Beloved. Move forward in freedom!