Joy In The Journey

If you’re anything like me, the times you’ve actually been “chosen” for something are few and far between– team sports, contests, you name it! You can imagine my shock when I was selected to serve on a jury in 2016; this was (low-key) a👏 very👏 INVIGORATING 👏moment. Coming from someone who doesn’t often get selected, I had an obligation to make sure I was “the very best, like no one ever was”. Walking into this trial I had my own preconceived notions and slight bias as to which side I would rule in favor of. I mean…I would have to be beyond convinced to actually send someone to jail for manslaughter…or so I thought.

Several pages of notes and one day later, it was time for deliberation! In my heart I knew this person was GUILTY! It was when we began our deliberation process that I quickly realized a lot more about myself than I bargained for. One by one each juror made their claim as to why they thought _________ was innocent/guilty. Different perspective yet same conclusion–innocent. Then it was my turn to speak. All I could mutter was “he had intentions to kill- he’s guilty!That’s enough evidence for me.” Blank stares. It was as if I was speaking in a language none of them had every heard. Compassionate eyes turned gloomy. THAT was the first time I ever took a look inside and saw how deeply I lacked grace towards other people. How is it that the same girl who reps Christ in her heart was the same girl quick to cast the first stone? I was embarrassed. These people saw a side of me that few had ever unveiled. My pharisee. When I realized the social setting before  me I quickly wavered and voted in favor of the other party. Innocent. However, in the trial of my heart– I was found guilty. THIS was just the beginning.