If you’re anything like me, the times you’ve actually been “chosen” for something are few and far between– team sports, contests, you name it! You can imagine my shock when I was selected to serve on a jury in 2016; this was (low-key) a👏 very👏 INVIGORATING 👏moment. Coming from someone who doesn’t often get selected, I had an obligation to make sure I was “the very best, like no one ever was”. Walking into this trial I had my own preconceived notions and slight bias as to which side I would rule in favor of. I mean…I would have to be beyond convinced to actually send someone to jail for manslaughter…or so I thought.
Several pages of notes and one day later, it was time for deliberation! In my heart I knew this person was GUILTY! It was when we began our deliberation process that I quickly realized a lot more about myself than I bargained for. One by one each juror made their claim as to why they thought _________ was innocent/guilty. Different perspective yet same conclusion–innocent. Then it was my turn to speak. All I could mutter was “he had intentions to kill- he’s guilty!That’s enough evidence for me.” Blank stares. It was as if I was speaking in a language none of them had every heard. Compassionate eyes turned gloomy. THAT was the first time I ever took a look inside and saw how deeply I lacked grace towards other people. How is it that the same girl who reps Christ in her heart was the same girl quick to cast the first stone? I was embarrassed. These people saw a side of me that few had ever unveiled. My pharisee. When I realized the social setting before me I quickly wavered and voted in favor of the other party. Innocent. However, in the trial of my heart– I was found guilty. THIS was just the beginning.